The last first day

My daughter before her first day of first grade.

Today was my eldest child’s last “first day of school.”  It took me by surprise. We were all in such a hurry buzzing about trying to get everything pulled together this morning that it did not occur to me.   I was honored and glad that a few days earlier she had requested I drive her for her first day.  It wasn't until after I dropped her off, and was driving away, that I realized it was the last time I would drop her off for her first day of school and tears filled my eyes.

What has parenting done to me?   I didn’t used to be such a mess!  These days I find myself more and more emotional!  It’s seemed like a downhill ride since she got her driver’s license last year.  One milestone passes after another all bringing her childhood to a close. 

It has been such a sweet time, raising my daughter.  And I am so grateful for the person she has become.  And although I am aging and eager to do new things, I don’t really want it to be over.  As irritated as I get sharing the bathroom, I really don’t want it all to myself.  As tired as I am of making people food all 
the time, I really don’t want them eating somewhere else. As much work as it makes for me, I don’t really want them to go.  And yet I do.  This is what all the bathroom sharing, meal making and work were for…
for the launch.


As I drove and the tears came I tried to call my husband and a couple friends but no one answered, so I started to pray.  “Okay Lord, you are always here for me. What do you say?”

And then my mind went to a precious verse that a friend (Darlene Lund) shared with me last week. 

Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)
8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

I had prayed that very verse with my children last night as they were nervous to face the first day of school. “God goes before you…” I had said.  “He will not fail to help you.  He will be with you.”

And as I face my own great transition, the Lord brought that same verse back to mind for me.  God goes before you, Jeri, He will not fail to help you.  He will be with you.

More tears.

He will be with me.

He will be with me.

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