Okay, full disclosure. Recently, I kind of lost it.
When I say lost it, I mean I lost my way and I found myself with my head down on the dining room table, tears rolling off my nose onto the wood, while confessing to my husband that I didn't know where I was going, I didn't know what was wrong with me, I didn't look forward to anything, I couldn't think of anything I wanted to do, no dreams, no passion… I felt, lost.
I felt like I forgot all the things I knew about God and about life… and I was just overwhelmed. Have you ever been there? I think the people who wrote the Psalms in the Bible have been there. There's a verse in Psalm 61 that says:
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2 (NIV)
I felt like I was reaching, but the rock was slippery and I prayed to the Lord, “I’m trying to get on the rock but I keep sliding off! It's so hard to remember the truth, it's so hard to trust… I keep trying to climb back up on the rock but I slip off…”
And then I remembered the story of Peter. Peter tried to walk on the water, but he lost sight of Jesus and fell in… And immediately, immediately Jesus reached in and pulled him up out of the water and into the safety of the boat (Matthew 14:31).
That reminded me of this passage in Psalm 40:
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
(Psalm 40:1-3 NIV)
The truth is, it is not all up to me… I can be overwhelmed, and that does not negate God’s faithfulness. He is the one who will again put my feet on the rock, and give me that firm place to stand. I don't have to clean myself up, I don't have to fix myself… The Lord is taking care of everything. The Lord is taking care of me.
God knows how to deal with those whose hearts have grown faint. How grateful I am that He has faithfully put my feet back on the rock and put a song of praise in my heart… and how grateful I am to know that if I begin to slip again, He will be right there ready; willing and able to help.
Jeri writes about her spiritual journey as she lives out her everyday life.